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Warning: Descriptions of suicide, self harm and mental health issues

If you are feeling down or low or if you feel like you might be in danger please scroll to the bottom and contact Samaritans or one of the other support organisations listed.

At university, mental health problems such as depression and anxiety affect one in four (27%) students according to YouGov. Similarly, suicides are at record levels and dropouts have trebled in recent years (Ukuniversities). I got these figures from a Guardian article I read back a while ago (Guardian) but the reality is that facts don’t lie and neither do the very real effects of mental illness. Many of my friends have suffered from mental health issues such as depression, anxiety (including social anxiety), PTSD, eating disorders, gender identity issues meaning that I’ve definitely experienced these first hand and university has definitely been a very tough time at points. LGBT people suffer the most from mental illness and 45% are affected by mental health problems 1½ times more than the rest of the population. Gay and bisexual men are 4 times more likely to attempt suicide across their lifetime and 88% and 84% of transgender people have suffered from depression and thoughts about ending their lives respectively (YouGov) (rethink). Yeah. It’s heartbreaking to think that for many people living with mental illness is just reality and that for some the only way they think they can break the endless cycle is to end their own life. I know that for many people talking about mental health and related topics can be an emotional subject because of the way it’s affected them or people that they know but I believe that the only way to change things for the better is to open up the conversation giving people the chance to speak out and ultimately get help. I’d like to talk about my experience of using the mental health services at my uni (Sussex uni) and my GP and give people a general guide as to what they can do to get help once they come to uni, or anytime really.

I think for most people, coming to university can be exciting but also scary and anxious. There’s always a lot of pressure to conform to the expectations and stereotypes of the ‘perfect’ uni experience: drinking, going out, house parties, getting with people and everyone’s always assumed to be so happy. Let’s be honest though, university isn’t about living up to someone else’s expectations or experiences, a false reality fabricated by perception of societal norms, and no ones uni experience is ever what they expect or even hope for. Regardless, things often don’t go right and people experience many of the things I mentioned before. If you or someone you know finds themselves in this situation, it’s important to know that you’re not alone and that you can get help.

Recognising mental illness:

Before we get into the ins and outs of going through the university support system it’s important to discuss how you get there in the first place. The first step is recognising that you’re affected by mental illness and you don’t have to sit through things and wait it out or fight the war inside your head on your own. Sure, university can sometimes be tough and stressful and things happen that can affect you in many different ways but lasting effects of these can often lead to longer term conditions that you shouldn’t just pass off. So many people often look so happy and care free on the outside and I think for many people, societal norms and pressures also dictate the way they react to stressful and traumatic experiences. For the most part, people especially young people are challenged to uphold a fictitious standard and ‘cool’ appearance whereby you only engage in certain activities to fit in with the majority, aspiring to reach the perfect human standard that everyone seems to idolise. This, coupled with things like toxic masculinity discourage people especially guys from speaking about their feelings or showing any signs of weakness. Most people don’t realise that the struggles they face and feelings they have on the inside actually relate to mental health issues and that by talking to someone you can help put these feelings into words. It can often feel difficult to explain how you feel with other people especially if you think that no one else feels the same, or that they won’t understand and this can make you feel that you are unable to cope or that there is nothing that you can do to improve the situation. You can cope and you can improve the situation. Just recognising that your ‘normal’ life might not be so normal gives you that first push to get over the mental hurdles that stop you reaching out.

How did you realise that you should talk to someone/get help?

I realise now that when I first came to uni I definitely should have recognised some of the issues I had. I’ve mentioned before in my introduction that I had severe social anxiety which definitely lead on to depression and other things. At first, I assumed this was just a natural part of coming to university and I assumed that my anxiety and emotions were just me – plus social anxiety doesn’t always work in a way that lets you be open to other people. This progressed throughout first year and into some of second year. Eventually, I started feeling tired a lot of the time and often felt on edge and anxious, even if there was very little going on at the time to make me feel so. I did some online tests and found out that I probably had anxiety and some form of depression (yay!) amongst some other things. Even so, I still didn’t do much about it. As I met more people my social anxiety became more manageable and I noticed that some people would talk about mental issues that they or their friends were experiencing. It made me realise that no one is perfect and that a lot of people were going/went through the same experience as me and most were getting some kind of help. Sometimes though, it can be so difficult to bring yourself to a point where you consider reaching out and it can take something beofore you have the motivation and confidence to do so. I remember once walking back to my car after going to a society at uni with one of my friends. He decided to stop and asked if he could tell me something before highlighting his self harm scars on his wrists and arms. Apart from being a bit shocked and quite emotional it instantly hit me that I’d been through a similar experience although I’d failed to recognise it in him and help him. It was definitely in this moment that I changed and realised that instead of sitting on the internet reading about mental health I should try to talk to someone. I felt guilty, why would one of my friends have self harmed when I could have been there to help or at least talked to them about how they were feeling. I felt like I should have done more, I always do whenever someone I know goes through something like this and I think part for my anxiety comes from the guilt I feel about not having helped people or being able to help people enough even if I have or if I’m not best placed to give them help. I guess that’s just me but it certainly helped me be more open with my friends about how I felt and allowed us to talk about our mental health more in general.

What kind of mental health services are there at university in the UK?

I can only talk about my experiences at Sussex (Brighton) but I feel like these are a good general guide. At Sussex university there is generally very good mental health provision in terms of the variety available, the support and service given and the publicity of the services. When you arrive at university you are given a welcome pack which lists all of the places at university that you can access including the students union (SU), student support unit (SSU), campus GP as well as independent charities such as Mindout and Samaritans. Through the SU you can:

• Raise general concerns you have about the university services, abuse and harassment and other general issues
• Get involved with changing the mental health/welfare landscape at your university

The SSU at Sussex deals with all long term support and welfare issues such as physical disabilities, mental disabilities and mental health and advises on these issues as well as exceptional circumstances claims relating to assessments and exams. Through the SSU you can:

• Get advice on welfare issues
• Get advice on how these issues relate to your studies and assessments
• Get long term support for physical and mental disabilities

You can also register for the campus GP (which I would recommend as it makes it easier and quicker to get support) and they should work just like your normal GP/doctor at home giving you advice, diagnosis and prescriptions.

The university website allows you to view all of the services available as well as advice and support pages and other local services such as the NHS and charities that offer mental health support. However, I do feel like the website could be better designed and organised and you have to go through a lot of links before you reach any relevant information with the web pages being quite small and like something you might have designed on Dreamweaver/html in 2006.

What things did you use at uni?

I have been to the SSU to get advice about my mental health and who to talk to regarding my health and the conditions that affected me day to day. I have also sought advice about exceptional circumstances relating to assessments and counselling to do with anxiety and depression. I have also spoken to my GP at home (I didn’t register at uni) to talk about my mental health as well as getting anxiety medication. I helped my friend with an election campaign for the position of welfare officer at the SU which was great fun and to feel a part of making change. It was great to see some of his ideas accepted by the eventual winner.

What happens when you get counselling/seek support at uni?

Normally you apply online to talk to someone through the university support unit. This is usually a counsellor or student support worker and you can often choose who you would like to see. When I applied I got to choose a time slot and counsellor I would like to see and then I only had to give a vague description of what I wanted to talk about if I wanted. For general help and advice, this was the same too. You are normally given a half hour slot for general advice and for counselling you usually have a series of about 6 sessions spread over a few weeks/months as well as an introductory session. If you have more serious issues, such as those that might mean you’re in danger, the university might send a series of follow up emails referring you to the support unit and giving you a list of emergency services you can use. This is nothing to worry about as the university has a procedure to follow and the people on the front line have your best interests at heart. After you finish, they will refer you to numerous other services such as NHS, charities and organisations that can give you specific mental health advice and counselling including specific advice for minorities such as LGBTQ+ people.

Waiting times:

Don’t expect to be seen immediately unless you request a same day drop in/emergency appointment. One of the biggest issues facing young people with mental health problems is the inordinately long waiting times that you have to face before you get help. I found this was the same case with university services and often you have to wait weeks and even months before you can get an appointment. This is not ideal when you’ve finally clicked the button to speak to someone only to find that you now have to wait another 3 weeks before you even get to see them. Without going into too much detail this is probably due to the under funding and lack of support for these kind of services at universities and in general, this needs to change.

What were the counsellors like? How good were they?

From my experience and others, the counsellors were, overall, very good. Seeing a counsellor at uni is very much like seeing your doctor (but slightly less scary I found). You get to sit in a waiting room for a bit and read all the leaflets before you get called in. The atmosphere is quite relaxed and quiet and there’s a lot less going on compared to a doctors surgery. The counsellor I had was a middle aged kinda guy and he was quite good at keeping the atmosphere relaxed and informal and seemed genuinely concerned about my welfare which helped ease some of the anxiety that I had. He was also quite good at leading the conversation and recognising my anxiety and the fact that I might not have been able to talk about these issues much before which meant I felt like I could talk without much pressure. For the most part, he focused on trying to identify my issues, what might be causing them and what measures we could put in place to help me deal with them including hoe to manage anxiety and what I could do in situations where I had anxiety. I never felt under too much pressure to reveal too much or go too far out of my comfort zone but I did find that talking to someone like this gave me the confidence to face and analyse my mental health. Regarding assessments I felt that most of the people working at my unis student support unit were sympathetic and offered good advice as to the procedure and how to get the correct evidence for exceptional circumstances claims and academic appeals. For longer standing conditions it’s important to talk to the support unit and get registered as soon as possible after you arrive at uni. This way, appropriate procedure can be put in place regarding your exams assessments and modules, such as extra time, deadline extensions and reasonable adjustments.

What things are there for BAME/disabled/LGBTQ+ people?

Every university is different and so you should check the services that your university offers. I don’t have experience with BAME or disabled services at uni and so can’t talk about them in much detail. If you have any concerns or worries then contact the relevant officer at your SU. For LGBTQ+ and BAME people I don’t think Sussex uni offers any specific services. However, you can use the SSU and they should be aware if not trained to deal with LGBTQ+ and BAME specific issues. For people with disabilities the SSU can give you long term support and you should contact them when you arrive at uni. There are also numerous charities and independent services that can help BAME/LGBTQ+ or disabled people such as Swtichboard and others listed below.

What other services can I access + emergency numbers?

If you are feeling down or in danger please contact Samaritans or one of the numbers below immediately. After you finish counselling at uni they will refer to additional services including those on the NHS. Below are some of the services you can access:

• Samaritans – 116 123 – free phone line 24/7, 365 days a year
• Papyrus – 0800 068 4141 – suicide hotline for people under 35
• Swtichboard (LGBTQ+) – 03000 330 0630 – LGBTQ+ helpline (10am -10pm)
• Mind – Mental health advice and services
• Nightline – listening service ran by students for students (check if your uni runs this on the Nightline website)
• MindOut – 01273 234 839 – LGBTQ+ mental health service
• StudentsAgainstDepression – Help and advice for students with depression + low mood etc
• SANE – Support for people living with or caring for someone with mental illness
• Grassroots suicide prevention – a suicide prevention charity

I hope this helps both prospective and current uni students and gives people an idea as to what kind of mental health help is out there and what it’s like. I hope that this also helps people put their mental struggles into perspective and allows people to realise that they’re not alone and that these services are for anyone that thinks they might need help. In the future it would be good to get specific review of certain services and the NHS ( I know AandE waiting times are horrendous just from my experience alone) and also get reviews of what help and support in general is like for specific minority groups. If you have any questions or anything you’d like to share then please contact me (spanishtom69@gmail.com), on social media, or comment below.

Thanks guys and stay safe,

Tom xoxo